Anger...............a good thing or not? Oh, if answering that question was as easy as saying yes,,,,,,,,,,,,,or no, but it isn't. Listen, it's ok to get angry, we all do it. Sometimes we "loose our cool" and sometimes we handle our anger with grace. Anger and being able to identify what angers you is healthy. It doesn't make you a crazy person, a bitch, or an applicant for Anger Management Training. Infact, as a teacher, I used to teach children how to identify and process anger in a healthy way. For example, if a student had something taken from them by another student.... sometimes it was a pencil, crayon, scissors, or a lunch item, I would walk them through it. I would have the victim express their anger by using their words: "that really made me mad when you....:". Then I would ask the perpetrator to validate that feeling and them make retributions to the victim- making it as real to the crime as possible. Now keep in mind, these were children, so the retribution is simple yet felt.
Sometimes the child was mad at me, and it was ok for the child to say to me, "Mrs. Evans, that really made me mad when you...." Then we would talk it out. If only all children learned to deal with things that made them mad and if it was really that easy. The reality is that children model from their parents so they may act mad and have no idea why they are acting out anger. Some children, experiencing some sort of abuse, may act out with anger because anger is or has protected them in the past. Being a victim is not fun and anger can cover our "victim" circumstances and while anger may have protected us as a child, it is simply no excuse as an adult and that is where healthy and unhealthy anger becomes a problem for an adult.
If the only emotion you are showing is anger- that's a problem. If your go to feeling is anger- that's a problem. If your anger is followed by an act of violence- that is a problem. If your anger comes out by telling others what a piece of crap they are- that's a problem and if your anger brings our childish behavior, then that's a problem.
Recently, Antonio Brown had an on field......(let's call it what it was) an on-field tantrum. Several people rushed to statements regarding Antonio Brown's mental health while others asked for understanding and to not rush to judgement, Antonio Brown did just that. He rushed to judge others and then reacted inappropriatly. He continues to judge those around him. THEN, a few days later I heard a CBS Newscaster: Nate Burleson give Antonio a pass by saying anger isn't a mental health issue. I hope I didn't hear that correctly, but that's what I heard. NOT a mental health issue? Come on Nate! When a grown man has a temper tantrum in from of millions of people, it's not ok!! And I'm going to say it; an adult temper tantrum is a mental health issue-a cry out loud for "help" and in some instances, attention or perhaps both.
Let's say it was an isolated incident- it's still behavior that is not ok and needs to be addressed. BUT, it was not an isolated incident, Antonio's behavior is proof that bad decisions and anger have been a part of his past. One only must look at his consistent behavioral issues to wonder about Antonio's mental health issues. Could Antonio be in denial? Could he be deflecting when he says he doesn't have mental health issues? Of course!! One might say that he does protest to much! So in this case as in many others, anger is a part of a much larger picture.
BUT, what really "gets me going" is all the interviews and attention he received for his "bad behavior". Last time I checked that was something counselors and therapists called enabling. Just like when dealing with a child's behavior in school: downplaying it, praising the students who were making good choices and not drawing attention to the negative behavior extinguished the negative behavior BUT when you gave all your attention to the child misbehaving, it encouraged the behavior to continue and, in some cases, to get worse. Welcome to Antonio Brown's current situation.
Nate Burleson announced today that he may be interviewing A.B. REALLY? Sure, why not Nate. Give him all that attention for that bad behavior and you probably think you are helping? WOW!! Our attention should be on the NFL players that are in the running for the Walter Payton NFL Man of the Year Award and yet I wonder if my readers even can name one in the running!?
I've said it once but sometimes once isn't enough: If the only emotion you are showing is anger- that's a problem. If your go to feeling is anger- that's a problem. If your anger is followed by an act of violence- that is a problem. If your anger comes out by telling others what a piece of crap they are- that's a problem and if your anger brings our childish behavior, then that's a problem. But hey, don't take my word for it, visit these sites below to learn more and meanwhile, reach out for some help if anger is a problem for you. Reaching out is a sign of courage and bravery, acting out is a childish cry for help! Which are you?
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